The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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