There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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