i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
