I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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