I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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