Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I need a beard to bite.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
