We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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