i would punch a child for taco bell
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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