How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
