so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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