I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
