Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
