today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
