He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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