Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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