I want to make a zoo with you.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
