His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize