I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
