Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
