i think my tv is drunk
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
