He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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