I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
