We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
