we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
