a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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