Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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