So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
