sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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