Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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