I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
