The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
