"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize