the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
