too bad you live with your parents still
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
