Small penises have feelings too.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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