Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
