he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
