when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
"it" just moved
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
