Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The Olympian is in my bed
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
