I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
