So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
