is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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