She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
