Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
