Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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