I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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