hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
