I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sponge bath it is.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
