He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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