I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
