so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize