Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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