It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
