Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
