hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You need Xanax blowdarts
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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