Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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