In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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