he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
