Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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