I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
