walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
