I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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