did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize