I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
