i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it's like heaven, but drunker
did i walk over a car last night?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
