Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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