So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
