Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
